Monday ; Agust 13, 2012 ; 8:05 am
Yesterday was the last day of the 3-day camp at Monresa Retreat House in Sum-Ag. What I can tell you is, I feel renewed after the camp.
I was nervous. I really was since I wasn’t good at making friends.
When we got there, I was sort of relieved that it was only scholasticans first. Phew. I knew some of them na :D It really felt like being in a sorority because it really felt like we were in a sorority.
We introduced ourselves, etc.
Talk 1: God’s Love
The speaker was Manang Yen-Yen. A friend of EMily’s sister.
She talked about God’s Love for us, and how he sacrificed his only begotten son for the sake of others.
After which there was a sharing. When they mentioned this, I felt like I was going to fall. I really felt this heavy weight in me since I don’t really share heart-breaking experiences with anyone because I always worry that I’ll be judged. But the moment I met my groupmates, I immediately trusted them. So, I told them my story. The story about how I mourned mine and Kim’s friendship. I didn’t tell them who though, except Shine. After that activity, I really felt a huge weight being lifted. And, yadda yadda yadda =))
Most of us woke up at 4 am. And took a bath. They support said it was really funny since they woke up 2 hours later.
Talk 2: Who is Jesus Christ to you?
When we had our group sharing and they asked us this question, my answer was Father. For me, Jesus was like a father because of lots of reasons. One, he sacrificed himself just like how a father would sacrifice himself for you. Two, he takes care of you just like how a father does.
Talk 3: Repentance, Healing, Forgiving
This talk was like a gun shot at the arse for me.
It really grasped my attention. It also made me find out that I AM a sinner. All of the things stated, were things I do.
In the afternoon, we had free time. They also said that you DGLs would talk to you one by one. Shine was the one who talked to me. She asked me about my problems. So, I told her. I trusted her enough since I knew her since Prep.
I told her how I was always so insecure about other girls. How I longed for a love life. How I wanted attention, even just a little bit. How I wanted to have a pretty face and a slim body. How I was sick of people always’a judging me. And what Shine said really made me cry. She said that to be beautiful, you needed the total package. You needed to be beautiful inside and out. She told me that I was, especially in the inside. She said that I was always generous to them. (aww). She also said that they (my friends) will always be with me. I was really touched honestly. She also said that they accepted my imperfections. She said that if they didn’t, they wouldn’t be friends with me. Honestly, I’ve always wanted to hear that. She really made me feel good about myself.
Talk 4: Receiving the Holy Spirit
To be honest, I was really sleepy during this talk. But when Manong Harold told us to close our eyes and imagine Jesus sitting in front of us, I wanted to scream. Since I distanced myself from God, I always had a hard time imagining his face. When I started, his face was like a mixture of him and something evil-looking. I was scared. I was praying inside, “Lord, please show your face. Please Lord, I’m really sorry”. I’m not lying, after a few minutes, I actually saw his face.
Then, Manong Harold started to tell us about a story.
It was between a child and a mom. They were having a fight. The child told the mom, “Gaga Ka (a form of saying you’re stupid. you’re a bitch)”. When the child got home from school, she was surprised to see candles everywhere. And a coffin. Her mom was dead.
Lots of us really cried here. I was one of them. Not only did this story touch me, it made me remember my Grandmother who died 5 years ago. I was never close to her. I remember telling her to stay out of my life. My apology to her wasn’t even sincere. I was just too lazy to hear my mom’s constant yapping. At March 10, 2007, she died. Lunch time. I was at Jollibee, having tutor. It was my mom who rushed to me and told me that “Lola” was dying. When we arrived in the hospital, I almost shattered to pieces. My grandmother was just squinting. I rushed to her and hugged her and told her not to go. How life wouldn’t be the same without her.
After that flashback, I imagined my grandmother sitting beside Jesus in front of me. I even noticed that I was opening my palms. Imagining that they were holding my hands. That’s when I realized, I miss my grandmother. I wanted her back. But there was nothing that I could do.
During this, we were baptized by the Holy Spirit. One by one. Then we sang songs of praise :D Which was really fun btw. It felt like watching a concert.
At night, we had a pageant. I remember letting Abby use my tampon. We used the tampon as her earring xD Sadly, we didn’t win.
Talk 5: How we can apply the gift of the Holy Spirit
I learned that we should apply what we learned inside camp. I promised myself that I’ll change for the better. Slowly, but surely.
Then our parents arrived and there was a prayer of general healing and forgiveness. My parents cried. Me too :)
After which, we had our sharing. Emily was so cute during the sharing! She said ”I know you people may think that I’m a rock since I never cried”. Then she started crying. She also mentioned that she hopes we’ll be allowed to go to the Expo in Manila on October 6-7 ;)
All in all, I felt renewed. I feel like God gave me a new day to have a fresh start.
When I got home, I slept at 3 pm, and woke up at 5 am the enxt day ;) Thanks God!
Now, I really know that I am not alone. God is with me. And I’ll always find people who will accept em for who I am.
YFC-GK 1MB helped me. A lot.